Reminders from COVID
Lessons new and old
We have to make choices!
It can be strange how sometimes things show up in the least expected places. A few things have been that way for me as I have battled COVID over the last 3 weeks. I shared with you in the beginning of this blog (Anxiety can be conquered!) how so many of the lessons I learned while battling panic and fear have helped me get through numerous other situations in life.
I quickly found that this battle was no different. Right away I realized that I had to take control of my thoughts if I wanted to avoid falling prey to runaway fear. We are constantly coming to intersections in our thoughts where we have to choose our direction, and it immediately became apparent that it would be easy to give in to fearful thoughts and completely lose my peace and my joy. After all, this is a serious disease. One of the first thoughts I had was, “I’m not going to be able to breathe.” Of course, thinking about my breathing made it impossible to breathe normally. Lol! That is one of the many things we do without thinking about it. So trying to engage the mind in the process just isn’t very effective.
Whatever is lovely
Realizing that I needed to keep myself grounded in reality rather than speculation, we purchased an oximeter so I could see in real time how much oxygen I was getting. My doctor had instructed me to go immediately to the ER if it dropped below 94%. (Which I am extremely thankful to say never happened.) But being able to actually see the numbers helped arm me with the facts I needed to avoid the pitfalls of the runaway “what if” or “I feel” thoughts, thus freeing me to focus my thoughts on the right things: Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Philippians 4:8)
That was my first reminder, and it was quickly followed by the second. My doctor told me to take several supplements and products that I had never taken before. Unfortunately, back when I had my first panic attack, I developed a strong aversion to putting any foreign substance into my body. That attack was immediately preceded by a breast infection that required antibiotic treatment. Shortly after I began those antibiotics, my first panic attack occurred.
Because our minds work in such amazing ways to protect us, there are times in their desperate search for answers that they make inaccurate associations. In this case, my mind associated taking the drugs with the panic attacks. Consequently, every time after that when I had to take any kind of new medicine, I was uneasy.
My faith had to be in something bigger!
But this time, by the time I got to the doctor’s office, I was so miserable that I was willing to do anything. She said she wanted to give me a shot for the nausea and vomiting, and I, without hesitation, said yes, please. I was told it would make me sleepy. Yay! So much the better. I could think of nothing more desirable than being knocked out and escaping the misery I was in!
Then the next day brought a whole new level of foreign substances. Being told by several different sources that the best thing I could do for myself was to get the antibody infusion, I agreed to get it. Again, anything to stop the misery. Well the antibody treatment is not FDA approved. I’m not even totally sure that anyone knows exactly what it is. Lol! I certainly don’t. But I didn’t care. I only wanted relief.
Just like I related in “Can You Fly that Plane?”, I had to constantly remind myself that God is the one who orders my steps, as well as the steps of the medical personnel around me: The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. (Proverbs16:9) My faith clearly had to be in something bigger than anything around me for me to maintain my peace.
Be Still!
My next reminder came as I sat in my recliner day after day, frustrated that I felt so horrible and couldn’t be more productive. I was reminded that a still body doesn’t equate to a still spirit (See “Be Still”) and remembered how God has told us to Be still, and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10a)
I began to use the time to practice being in the presence of God. It’s amazing how much my perspective changed from having so much wasted time to having time to pursue the deeply treasured presence of God. It seems that I never have enough time to spend with Him, yet too many times I let precious moments be flitted away with my fretting about not getting anything done. Oh, how easily I seem to forget how sweet God’s presence is – far, far better than anything else this world can offer. After all, He is the only source of true joy.
And the last reminder was not something I learned in my adult life, but rather something I had known from a child. How many times did I hear my wonderful mother say, “Go outside and get some fresh air. It’s good for you”? Yes, back in those days everyone knew that fresh air was good for us. So one has to wonder what on earth happened to all that common sense that used to be in the world? But now suddenly I was being told by all the medical people around me to “go outside and get some fresh air.” And I was at three different doctor’s offices!!
Of course, I was only too thrilled to comply with that directive! Psalm 19:1 has for a long time been one of my favorite Bible verses: The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. I always see God more clearly when I am closer to His creation. For me, that was like being told to get out there and travel a few more steps down “The Blessing Road”. Yes, yes, that is absolutely where I want to be! See you out there! 🙂
GUARD RAIL: Rest in knowing that God’s directions are always accurate – no matter your circumstances!
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.
Proverbs 16:9